The Musings of Bek Curtis

Fail Your Way Forward …or face-plant trying

Posted by on Oct 7, 2014 in Musings | 4 comments

Fail Your Way Forward …or face-plant trying

I want to succeed. And if I can’t succeed, if I really truly must fail, then I at least want to succeed at failure, failing gracefully and all that jazz.
I want to be the most graceful failure that has ever failed in the history of failings. This is a problem.

You see, I haven’t failed at a great deal in my life thus far. And please, read that statement for what it is; not a ‘humble brag’ but instead a sad indictment…
For my lack of failure stems from the fact that I never really try.

I’m petrified of failure. Even more so the humiliation and shame that accompanies it, so I never step out to begin with, I allow this fear to grasp me, to shape my decisions.

You see, I’m a runner.
HA! No, not the exercise variety, more the emotional variety.
It’s not exactly a noble trait. There’s no fan base passing me oranges, asking for my autograph, or begging that I share my tips for raging success.

Someone said to me recently, “we fail our way forward.
YUCK!
Those words slapped me in the face. They carry truth. A truth I’d rather ignore.

In my new and current journey, I’m repeatedly being told that failure is our greatest educator…
That’s very encouraging. FOR THOSE WHO CAN DEAL WITH IT!
For me it’s damn scary. I want to run.

Why can’t I just get it right the first time?
Why does failure have to be a thing that hangs over my head, taunting?

Why is failure a part of life?

It’s a frustratingly simple, cyclic, round-about question….
It is, because it works. On some uncomfortable level, it works, it teaches.

So I’m asking, genuinely, how do you begin to embrace failure, to harness its power to your advantage, your motivation?
And how do you deal with the shame that accompanies it?

-Bek Curtis

 

4 Comments

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  1. Sarah G

    You said it already. You don’t embrace the failure, you embrace what it teaches you. You embrace the fact that without trying, you’d never succeed, but that by trying, you’re slowly moving closer to your goals. And yes, failure is awful at the time, and it may seem like the end of the world… But it isn’t really.

    It helps me to think about old failures – everyone has old relationships that failed, and at the time it was devastating – but in hindsight, it’s not always a bad thing, or at least it was a learning experience. Everyone has struggled to quit something, be it nicotine, alcohol, drugs, junk food or bad habits. You’ve talked on this blog about how unhappy you were with some old parts of your life. You had the courage to risk failure in order to change those things to become the person you are today. Imagine if you’d never tried. How much better are you now for trying? (Rhetorical question – you’re awesome). This is just more of the same.

    Many people settle for unhappiness because they’re scared to try, but if you don’t give up, if you keep striving to go after your goals, whilst also trying to be the person you want to be, then eventually you’ll succeed, even if your end dream is not the same as the one you started with. More than that, you’ll have grown as a person on the way.

    • Bek Curtis

      I love this. And yes Sarah, you’re right about the aspects of my past that I changed, I had never thought of those experiences in this light! Thank you!
      I love the new perspective.

  2. Dan

    For myself I did motivation in my failures in that if I am not trying or doing, God can’t be using me to further His Kingdom. I can relate to you in being afraid of failure , but I am learning to remember this and slowly gain confidence in my failures and accept them , while looking for new opppurtunities amongst my failures.

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